I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
