If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
