I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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