the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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