Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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