just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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