What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
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I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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