Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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