well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
