: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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