Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
