I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
