Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
zippers are such a cool invention
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
