i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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