There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
