Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
