For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
