How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
