hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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