If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
