Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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