don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
