Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
