True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
