"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
