The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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