I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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