I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
