Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We had sex on a dog bed..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
