I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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