Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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