doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
