batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
