So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I could fuck to npr.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
