She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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