we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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