When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize