It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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