I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
