Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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