woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
