I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
