There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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