yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
