just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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