i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
