Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
