Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
