I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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