Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize