Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
