We need to rekindle our bromance
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
