you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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