so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
