He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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