Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
