ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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