i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I deserve this hangover.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
