Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (707) Bad night (1697) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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  (517): i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook http://tfl.nu/5f2q
  Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

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  (225): Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min http://tfl.nu/fx8x
  Replies (21) Good night (4261) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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  (416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big
  Replies (26) Good night (5227) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

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  (314): What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion http://tfl.nu/5o7j
  Replies (15) Good night (5034) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.

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  (339): today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day. http://tfl.nu/37h9
  Replies (22) Good night (3902) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?

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  (908): how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer? http://tfl.nu/a07e
  Replies (20) Good night (6397) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.

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  (316): toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials. http://tfl.nu/kc0s
  Replies (18) Good night (1033) Bad night (4791) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.

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  (310): Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever. http://tfl.nu/fsai
  Replies (16) Good night (1021) Bad night (16258) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.

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  (801): Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body. http://tfl.nu/oco3
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (2514) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.

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  (757): I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it. http://tfl.nu/htjg
  Replies (10) Good night (2996) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you

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  (906): Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you http://tfl.nu/vgld
  Replies (3) Good night (3323) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

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  (505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported

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  (412): I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported http://tfl.nu/r23v
  Replies (8) Good night (614) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

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  (859): Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy. http://tfl.nu/uf16
  Replies (1) Good night (143) Bad night (36) Order T-Shirt

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