just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?