i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.