i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted