Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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  (424): The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration. http://tfl.nu/aroj
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (1610)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can still come hang out if you want

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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  (717): you can still come hang out if you want (248): I really don't feel like watching you play video games http://tfl.nu/d4ru
  Replies (19) Good night (941) Bad night (1652)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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  (954): Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass? (1-954): Hurt me personally. (954): Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though http://tfl.nu/ypmo
  Replies (18) Good night (2030) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson

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  (973): How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson http://tfl.nu/43b3
  Replies (24) Good night (908) Bad night (3001)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.

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  (415): The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now. http://tfl.nu/v0wm
  Replies (34) Good night (3089) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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  (610): Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table http://tfl.nu/dmz2
  Replies (92) Good night (998) Bad night (5103)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2173) Bad night (3895)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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  (212): Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many. http://tfl.nu/dbug
  Replies (25) Good night (1497) Bad night (3607)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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  (913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft
  Replies (9) Good night (4391) Bad night (888)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.

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  (704): There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die. http://tfl.nu/gg2b
  Replies (15) Good night (618) Bad night (1919)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven

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  (215): Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven http://tfl.nu/y2y3
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."

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  (626): It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed." http://tfl.nu/13ua
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (380)
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  (431): View more from

  Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.

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  (431): Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches. http://tfl.nu/58c6
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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  (206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48
  Replies (2) Good night (1020) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon

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  (970): She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon http://tfl.nu/u33x
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (232)

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