is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question