I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
