omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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