is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well I just put wine in my tea
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
