You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
