Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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