I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
