420 ftw
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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