R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We're not piercing ourselves today.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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